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Violent Violet

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+ce'st la fin+ [15 Mar 2008|11:57pm]
After much debate and months of contemplating, I've come to the decision that this journal will be CLOSED from now on. Honestly, I never quite thought that I would ever keep it for this long (almost 4 years!), but there were enough of you out there that were amazing that kind of made me stick around till now.

I'll miss some of you enormously, but for those who really matter, you always know how to get a hold of me.

Until then, see you later.
16 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+put your ray gun to my head+ [30 Jul 2007|11:24pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how long I’ve kept this journal, and couldn’t believe when I realised that three years have passed already. This got me thinking about how many things have occurred in these three years.

With all the changes I’ve been through, from former calendar girl to portraying Italy’s most notorious porn star Moana Pozzi for the cinema, no one would’ve ever thought that I would’ve ended up taking a different direction completely.

Spending the past three years between London and New York City, I’ve learned a lot about music, the club scene, DJing, and life in general. Soon, I became more accustomed to seeing the sunrise than the sunset, and I exchanged the glamourous life, for something seemingly more simple, but finding it hard to break away from the complex completely.

I also came to wonder, who touches you the most? The one who breaks your heart, the one who denies you have one, or the one who’s too oblivious to want it?

In the midst of all these questions, I wasn’t able to reach an absolute conclusion. Perhaps there really isn’t any easy solution, maybe there’s a reason for this constant awkward limbo. Suspended with suspense.

Maybe, there’s no real answer, and it’s best to merely indulge in the unpredictable.

And as I contemplate such complexities, I find myself giving advice to all the Italians through a mode of advertisement for Algida’s Temptation ice cream, saying: “It’s a sin not to give in to temptation.”

23 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+divine decadence+ [20 Jul 2007|11:49pm]
[ mood | enthralled ]

My world slightly tilts in your presence, but it doesn’t mean that I’ll ever be able to really get inside of you.

There’s nothing worse than a vagabond heart that tries to capture a confused soul.

The stars seem farther away every time I look up at the sky. They’re like miniature explosions in the onyx sea. I want to grab them in my hands and squeeze unspoken dreams out of them.

I crave for the impossible.

“Nothing’s impossible,” a mate of mine said to me recently in the midst of cigar smoke and run.

I used to wish to never be forgotten, discarded amongst all the others. Now, I only yearn to be rediscovered. Sometimes, I find my lips press against the hand that your own lips graced its surface for a precious moment. It felt time had stretched for ions when it occurred. And I sigh because there’s nothing that can save me from this delirious malady.

Get me out of this place, before I drown in your intoxicated waters.

6 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+requiem for starlets+ [05 Jul 2007|04:59pm]
[ mood | bouncy ]

I know that I’ve been neglecting this journal for the past year or so. I know that I’ve detached myself completely from people that are my closest friends. And the strange this is, I still don’t know why I did it. It all started with a simple malady of the soul, and then it transmuted into something bigger, and before I knew it the darkness had swallowed me whole.

The more I avoid the media, the more I seem to get involved in situations or scandals that hold no linkage to me, other than I know the ones that are being labeled as “criminals.” I find it hard to believe that all this so-called corruption was going on for so long and only now they worry themselves with trying to find the culprits.

There’s a vast gap between me and the people I used to know, or thought I knew. There’s a barren wasteland in my heart where I wish I could replace it when pretty flowers, but everything is shriveled up.

London has become a strange capsule for me. A place where I can avoid the people from “over there.”

My tethered feelings keep me chained to something I’m not quite sure of. A mirage? A chimera? I’m chasing dreams that probably don’t even belong to me.

I’ve become allergic to lyrics, as to why I’ve begun listening to instrumentals. No singer is gonna tell ME what direction my emotions should go in.

On a lighter note, I’m quite content to see that Jon is indeed ALIVE and well (I reckon?). If any of you are wondering what I’ll be up to this summer, you’ll find me overdosing on live music and hanging out with musicians, but start calling me Penny Lane.

11 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+voglio una pelle splendida+ [20 Apr 2007|05:37pm]
[ mood | cold ]

“With your body, you can’t avoid scandals,” someone had said to me a few years ago. Scandals are something that has overtaken every single person in the Italian show business. First it started with the sport world, where soccer players were being paid to alter game results, and now they find out that many of the so-called agents haven’t only helped many of the actresses and TV personas find jobs, but have basically sold them to TV producers for sexual favours in the hopes of getting a part in a film or a TV show.

In the midst of all these debauched behaviour, only a few have risen with a good reputation. I suppose it surprised many people when my name didn’t show up in the category of the myriad of women that sold themselves for a part, and instead the police found phone conversations where my ex-agent told me, “The reason why you don’t work so much is because you don’t give it to the producers.”

While I was surprised to find out that initially my ex was accused of being involved in this whole affair as well and who knows where the truth lies in the midst of filth and accusations.

Keeping a low profile has felt a necessary must in this case. Branding the whole Italian show business as corrupt surely doesn’t make any of us look good.

But there are many instead, that are receiving the attention because of this scandal, and thus creating more of a buzz around their name.

While I spend my nights in clubs around London, all of this feels so foreign and faraway to me.

Spin me around on the dancefloor, I don’t have a thing to hide.

Strip Me

+a sordid twist of fate+ [27 May 2006|07:13pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Apparently lately I've been busy "working" such as the photo below testifies:

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

So, tomorrow is my birthday...and unlike Naomi Campbell who is having four day festivities going on in Dubai, I'll be busy trying to get others to dance while I DJ in some obscure NYC club tomorrow night.
20 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+she inspires dreams in poet’s eyes+ [07 Apr 2006|09:56pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I can’t wait for the elections in Italy to be over, so that finally I won’t be bombarded with all these stupid political flyers that keep stuffing up my mailbox, plaster my windshield, and ultimately cling to my feet as I try to walk down the streets of Milan.

It feels so strange to be back here after almost two years of being elsewhere. I’m not sure whether I’m ready to be back here to claim it as my home again. Not that New York felt more home either, or London. Instinctively I perceived them all as motels…cities of passage more or less.

Although they managed to get me to do TV again by getting me to do a documentary of sorts about homeless people around the world, I seriously doubt that I’ll go back to hosting shows like before. My newfound passion for DJing is taking me to various cities every night and allowing me to meet lots of new people and somehow the idea of going back to being cooped up in a TV studio doesn’t seem so thrilling.

The weather is unusually warmer which is strange for this time of year. The city looks more jovial ever since colourful flowers adorn the parks, it almost makes the greyness of the buildings look less grey. It looks as though slowly everything is coming back to life….the darkness recedes and everything looks brighter than before. And I don’t know why but lately I keep on smiling for no reason at all.

17 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+it's not a habit...I'm not an addict+ [11 Mar 2006|06:37pm]
I couldn't possibly overlook this important day:

I want to wish my favourite Glam Boy a very Happy Birthday. I hope it's smashing and glitter-filled coated with lots of illicit acts of debauchery.

Image hosting by Photobucket
4 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+I always knew you'd be a star+ [18 Jan 2006|11:32am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Congratulations to Jon for his Golden Globe!!

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
2 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+deliver us from free will+ [01 Dec 2005|10:43pm]
[ mood | valvonauta ]

The holidays are approaching. I don’t have any distinct plans, other than the DJ event I have scheduled for New Year’s Eve in Ibiza with The Prodigy’s Maxim and DJ Bob Sinclair.

I’ve been on one of my notorious insomniac sprees this week. I’ve found that an amusing way to kill some time when you can’t sleep is by riding the subway. At 4-5a.m. it’s usually silent and empty. Well not always silent seeing that I like to sing along to the songs playing on my i-Pod.

I just finished reading I was a Teenage Dominatrix a few days ago. It makes for an amusing read, if not make you consider a possible career in whipping blokes for $300 an hour. I’m sure that the Marquis de Sade would be proud of Mistress Alexis, alias Shawna Kenney.

NYC seems to be swarmed by Christmas trees. The only Christmas indulgence I’ve given into at the moment is the new cherry flavoured candy canes. Christmas always reminds me of when I was younger living in Venice and how the usual post-card perfect image of the city looked rather dreary during that time of year. Flashy lights on gondolas seem oddly out of place. The only positive thing about winter in Venice is that the water doesn’t smell, as it does when it get warmer, and for at least a couple of months you don’t get attacked by blood-sucking insects the size of mini-jets.

This post is so random but my brain’s gone into hibernation and refuses to be eloquent and precise in any way. So every time I attempt to concentrate my brain pulls a neuron hold and throws in bits and pieces from songs or films which makes attempting to write my articles for Italian Vanity Fair almost impossible.

To add more randomness, I'll allow Honore de Balzac to have the last word:

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.

Somehow those Frenchmen were always right.

And before I forget, Happy Birthday Emily!

12 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+I hate to leave you bare, if you need me, I’ll be there+ [03 Nov 2005|04:39pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I spent the past week in London for DJing events in Camden Town. This gave me the opportunity to see Nick. It’s always so terrible to have to leave afterwards. I truly despise having to say goodbye that’s probably why I always tell him instead, “I’ll be back.” So the separation doesn’t seem so horrible.

Halloween was spent in Dario Argento’s club, Transylvania in Milan, DJing alongside Tommy Vee and Mixo for this mega-party that Heineken sponsored. While D&G presented their witch collection costumes at the event and being their testimonial I got to wear the Hecate costume for the night. I got to mix Placebo’s Bitter End with Matisse’s Boom Ba. Not to mention all the free Kinder chocolates and absinthe they gave out all night long. It was quite fun.

Work aside, you won’t believe what turned up on ebay this week. Apparently someone was selling Vincent Gallo’s sperm. But for some reason the bidding was truncated. Perhaps they were scared of possible Gallo spawns popping up. I suppose that could be quite freaky. Probably more horrifying than watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose.

Speaking of spawns, the Italian press seems to be hooked on continually asking me to inform them when I’ll turn up pregnant again. Hrmm. For the time being, no such thing will occur. I think that you’re only allowed to drive one kid insane at a time, don't you think?

Anyhow, Jon officially has my ultimate adoration for the time being ever since he found a song that was virtually impossible to find like Nuno's Crave. After 8 years since the last time I heard this song on the radio I managed to hear it again. So thanks a lot mate! :-*

10 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+true or false?+ [25 Oct 2005|11:46am]
[ mood | amused ]

News is that Kerrang has made a brief mention and congratulations to Brian Molko and Helena Berg in the ‘Stimulants’ section of their magazine. Though of note, this information is NOT official nor confirmed in any way.

“Congratulations to Brian Molko & Helena Berg with baby Cody.”


Apparently secret love childs are the latest en vogue publicity stunt or should I be sending my congratulations your way, Mr. Molko?
12 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+vanish like a lipstick trace, it always blows me away+ [20 Oct 2005|10:45am]
[ mood | deliriously feverish ]

Today is my fourth day of being ill. Apart from having a sore throat, a horrendous cough, and a high fever, I’m doing fabulously. If Dario Argento saw me now he wouldn’t certainly say that I’m “too pretty to kill” in his films, since I probably resemble one of his corpses with all the black underneath my eyes from lack of sleep from delirious ramblings.

But being bed bound has its merits like being able to read Chuck Palahniuk’s Haunted in less than a day and the biography of Marie Antoinette. Consequently, I was able to blame my sobbing over the Queen’s tragic demise to my escalating temperature (doesn’t everyone become more emotional when sick?) rather than admit that I’m just the typical sappy girl. So, to add to my “girly” experience I watched Dear Frankie and saw for the first time a couple of episodes from Desperate Housewives (my favourite is Bree cos she’s so “perfect” while her husband wants her to be a dom, how amusing is that?).

Re-listening to old CDs I’ve noticed that Taylor Hanson pronounces me the same way as Mr. Molko does. Don’t believe me? Listen to Hanson’s Speechless and then Placebo’s Allergic (To thoughts of Mother Earth) and you’ll see for yourself. After this comparison I can very well go into hiding before I’ll become the next victim of the notorious Molko Rampage. Good thing he’s too busy living in the studio and most likely won’t even see this…hehe.

To kill some time I’ve been playing paper dolls with Swami only that we cut out images from People magazine so instead of having your typical paper dolls we have Jessica Simpson, Kevin Federline, Tom Cruise, and Angelina Jolie. Our storylines are just as extravagant like how my Swami’s Angelina doll decapitated my Jessica doll (this is what happens when you let your daughter watch A Tale of Two Cities too often!).

I’m hoping to get better soon so that this weekend I can be in L.A. to visit Rose. Jon, if you happen to be around L.A. you’re always welcome to crash our so-called party of two.

Last night I was reading in the Italian edition of Vanity Fair this interview that they conducted with various prostitutes. I can’t believe that some of them are only charging 50 euros per client. A lot of them earn 1,000 euros a day (which means 20 blokes a day or something close to it). I was talking with Rebecca (Swami’s nanny) if she thought she could sleep with 20 blokes a day if she were to be a prostitute and she totally cracked me up cos she responded, “Twenty? That’s a lot! Maybe…two.” And I told her, “With two you’d only be making like 100 euros a day! Which would be infinitely less than what I’m paying you!” And then she said, “If you think 50 euros is so little how much would you charge?” That’s when told her, “Hey, I don’t even get out of bed if I don’t make a million!”

On another note, I think that you should all go welcome my gorgeous co-national Monica Bellucci who happens to have more things in common with me than you may think, such as both being testimonials for D&G, we both did calendars for Max magazine, and having both done the commercials for Breil jewelry a few years back.

Also, Robbie Williams new single, Trippin is the most infectious song to ever exist. It gets stuck in your head and you just can’t get rid of it. The baby in the video also looks so creepy (or maybe it’s just cos I saw it at 3a.m.).

Now, I'm off to watch Dawson's Creek re-runs since I'm not that bored (or sappy) yet to watch whatever daft soap opera they show in the mornings.

26 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+sundays, are so dull+ [17 Oct 2005|12:11am]
[ mood | bored ]

In anticipation of a better update, I thought that this was pretty amusing:

elenoire_c's LJ stalker is herr_bargeld!
herr_bargeld is stalking you because they heard you are awesome in bed, and they want to find out. They are also stalking the rest of your friends list!

LiveJournal Username:

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com
14 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+I'm from the land where they shatter dreams like tambourines+ [08 Sep 2005|11:15am]
[ mood | viva le ferie ]

I dreamed that you were kissing me and I prayed for that moment to never end.

America feels so far away as I sit in my flat in Milan watching cartoons with Swami. My final show of the year On the Road has come to an end. I really enjoyed doing that show even if it was terribly exhausting. It caused me to have more jet lags than I could possibly handle.

The last few weeks were spent in L.A. and NYC. In L.A. I got lost more times than I wish to admit to my production crew and co-host Raz who would beg me to ask for directions while I kept assuring them that I knew exactly where I was going. It's their own fault though, why were they allowing a woman to drive in the first place, and let's be specific not just any woman, but an Italian woman, and a "crazy Italian woman" at that. Don't they know that if we see a road sign we merely regard it as a possible suggestion? Haha. But at least I'm not as bad as Asia Argento who seemed to crash 12 cars in the year of 2001 until a Carabinieri officer finally came to the conclusion that someone like her was better off without a liscence.

During my stay in L.A. I finally got the chance to meet him. I'm afraid that I cuddled him a bit too much and sparsed so much glitter on him that it's going to take him months to get rid of it all. I knew before meeting him that he was incredibly sweet but now I'm purely convinced for sure.

While in NYC I saw more dawns than I did blokes seeing that we mostly went to lesbo & transvestite clubs for the filming of the show. In November I'll permanently become a resident of NYC seeing that I have high aspirations of acquiring DJ skills and perhaps become as good as Carlos D. seems to be even if I'll settle for being a Penelope Tuesday clone too, after all she's got all the hot groupies.

I'll be in London for a month or so, mostly to see him whom I've missed more than he could possibly imagine. And while I'm there I hope to see Mr. Molko since it's been ages since the last time we drank vodka together and that's just wrong on so many levels.

Although the question meme is rather amusing I've decided to not do it because I'm on a mission to be a rebel just like him.

12 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+Happy Anniversary?+ [22 Aug 2005|12:23am]
[ mood | content ]

Date created: 2004-08-22 06:55:33

Here's to another year of gratuitus nude icons, unneccessary drama, overboard obsessions, hot bondage sex, and lasting friendships.

Are you already bored?

35 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+dammi un segno per cui contare+ [30 Jul 2005|07:56pm]
[ mood | calm ]

In lieu of another update, I’ve decided to jump on the band wagon of the music meme. Some lyrics are easy some are a bit hard, and if anyone is able to figure out the bonus I’ll be impressed.

1.“Someone comes and rains inside my head.” HINT: Emily guessed that the lyric came from The Crow soundtrack.

2.“You know I like it when you spit.”

3.“Oh my love, my darling, I hunger for your touch alone.” carlbrolin Unchained Melody The Platters

4.“And the lions ate the Christians and the Christians burned the witches.” emily_mortimer Disease The Ark

5.“Your love is like a hurricane.”

6.“I disappoint you, you give up on me.”

7.“Pure frigid waters from these eyes that always miss you.”

8.“Scent of dry flowers and I’m walking through the fog.”

9.“No virgin me, for I have sinned.” emily_mortimer Mary, Mary Chumbawamba

10.“My lullaby, hung out to dry.” misswainwright Smoke Natalie Imbruglia

11.“We’ve got to believe it’ll be alright in the end.” moore_j What Happens Tomorrow Duran Duran

12.“Innocent people are being crucified.”

13.“You’re in her book, you’re number 37, have a look.” simon_lebon Femme Fatale Lou Reed

14.“Cos it ain’t the first time that a man’s gone insane.”

15.“Love is good and love is kind love is drunk all the time.” ne_cave Shame Smashing Pumpkins

B-Side Bonus

“Disco me to oblivion.”
carlos_d 2-4-6-8 Placebo
26 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+yes, this post is just for you+ [27 Jul 2005|11:35am]
Happy Birthday Jon!

To make this a memorable birthday for you I'm sending you lots of these and her for a sexy/dirty striptease/lapdance.

Hope you have a fab time! ;)
6 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+the scent of your breath+ [21 Jul 2005|10:37am]
[ mood | amused ]

Three weeks have passed since the amazing Live 8 concert in Paris. Placebo’s performance of 20 Years and The Bitter End was amazing. But now that they’re cooped up in the recording studio for their new album I’ve lost my valiant vodka-drinking partner.

Moana premieres next week on the 26th. It’ll be the last time you’ll see me like this. I’ve also handed over the scepter of CD:Live host to Ilary Blasi, so this image will soon become a faded memory. While my calendar girl title has been generously bestowed to the lovely Flavia Vento. I’m sure she won’t make anyone miss me. In the meantime I’ve decided to unleash my inner goth, which I think compliments well with my dark angel, don’t you think? If all else fails, I could always try to pass as a bad imitation of a HIM groupie, no?

Next month I’ll be all over place, if you’re lucky (or unlucky) enough I might end up in your city in the company of a ex-model, professional slacker, Raz Degan. Our “adventures” will be filmed for a daily travel show, On the Road.

Pit StopsCollapse )

4 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

+congratulations!+ [15 Jul 2005|05:13pm]
In lieu of an update, I just wanted to congratulate Jon on his Emmy Nomination for his role in the Elvis series.

Of course, hoping that you will win! ;)

Image hosted by Photobucket.com
3 Broken Hearts|Strip Me

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